Active v.s. Inactice

This morning I was talking to my sister in Taiwan through the Skype for an hour and half,
then I had lunch.
Now I am talking to my friend at IU through the MSN,
It's fun. However,
How about my practice?!

Everytime when I have a long break, I struggled.
I know I should use my time well,
like reading, practicing, learning things, etc.
But I never make it.
When I am squeezed into a stressful situation, I will complain,
like "I should be prepared earlier ", or
"I am so tired, I can't do it anymore"
And this thing happens with a cycle, never stop.

It's just like us, every one in this world,
We fight with ourselves every moment, about being good or bad
being generous or selfish, or being considerate or self-centered,
I think our lives is like a race.
We are not only competing with other people; more important,
we compete with ourselves.
If I can expect to surpass the "old me",
I think I will get rid of this stupid circle someday.

Jui-Ling
7/17/06