Stop Dreaming ---------

maybe I should call it "nightmare";
because of these dreams, I haven't slept really well this week.
I keep having dreams about old people I knew,
they are not really horrible, but, not good either.
There is an old Chinese saying:
you will have dreams at night about what you think of during the day.
I can say it's what I am going through now -----------
maybe I should try to blank out myself before falling into sleep.
maybe I should do some YOGA and relax myself.
or maybe------------- ?
I don't know,
just stop dreaming!!

Jui-Ling7/22/06

Thank god it's over --------

I went to the IRS today for the interview,
Everything went really smoothly;
except the immigration officer was late for an hour.
So we were talking to the lawyer Alex for an hour.

Everything was settled down, finally.
Although I don't really have any religion,
God is the only one I can think of and express my thanks at this moment.
Maybe everything you did is recorded by all gods,
and they will decide what should you get when the timing comes.
So I should remember,
Whatever you do, it always returns to yourself.

God Bless me

Tomorrow will be a big day for me!
It's the INTERVIEW Day.
I hope everything will go smoothly.
I had a piano lesson this evening again,
Thank god,
The Chopin is getting better.
So, slowing your practice pace down,
Just like calm down yourself everytime when you have something important.
Deep breathing ------------


Jui-Ling
7/19/06

Salute Chinese !!

I set up a new blog site this morning,
the website is www.wretch.cc/blog/juiling,
I can write whatever I think in Chinese there.
This whole thing, I have to thank Yi-Ping,
who was helping me and gave me lot of support; more important,
lots of patience.
So,
Let's celebrate!!


Jui-Ling
7/18/06

Active v.s. Inactice

This morning I was talking to my sister in Taiwan through the Skype for an hour and half,
then I had lunch.
Now I am talking to my friend at IU through the MSN,
It's fun. However,
How about my practice?!

Everytime when I have a long break, I struggled.
I know I should use my time well,
like reading, practicing, learning things, etc.
But I never make it.
When I am squeezed into a stressful situation, I will complain,
like "I should be prepared earlier ", or
"I am so tired, I can't do it anymore"
And this thing happens with a cycle, never stop.

It's just like us, every one in this world,
We fight with ourselves every moment, about being good or bad
being generous or selfish, or being considerate or self-centered,
I think our lives is like a race.
We are not only competing with other people; more important,
we compete with ourselves.
If I can expect to surpass the "old me",
I think I will get rid of this stupid circle someday.

Jui-Ling
7/17/06

The First Place

I went to LPPC this morning, as usual, and talked to the pastor.
she said if I need any day-off, just let her know.

During the summer time, we don't have any choir rehersal on Thursday night,
and there is other people who is arranging all the music part of the service for free,
therefore, they don't really need me.
so,

what is going to be the first thing in our minds?

I remember during the regular time,
I am not allowed to be excused for the rehersal or service,
because sometimes I did,
they always said or implied that it's a very inconvenient thing for them,
and made me feel guilty.

I have struggled between self-morality and life-reality for a long time.
I am taking accompany jobs at UNM,
everytime when I was meeting a new student,
I have to force myself to talk about the payment,
Why force to?
Because I know most of the student are not rich.
But if you don't charge,
they really take advantage of you.
So, I am asking myself,
Is there really a balance spot at this point?


Jui-Ling
7/16/06

Moods

I was having an unenjoyable experience with Ben last night,
and it all started with a silliest thing.

How can we define a smooth relationshiop?
How can we be sure and say: people understand me?

I think,
maybe our moods control our judgements.
When I have a good one, I always think that everyone on the street is an Angel,
and I feel like God is always with me.
If I don't,
I hate all the people who arounds me,
I doubt peoples' thoughts all the time,
and I look into every thing as a bad side.
There is an old Chinese saying:
Do not transfer your anger to other people.
It's easy to say, but hard to accomplish.
Maybe it should be my goal since I am turning 30 next year,
and if I did something stupid, Out of Control shouldn't be an excuse.

Jui-Ling
7/15/06

Your Choice ------------

I just had a piano lesson last night,
usually I should sit in front of the piano, and fight with it now,
but I decided to give myself a short break,
it's summer, anyway.

I was watching old friends' wretch sites,
it's kind of funny, that you are watching their photo albums and articles,
sort of sharing their lives, and they don't know.
Now we connect to each other through the computer,
no matter where you are, no matter you like it or not. You don't have the choice.
In fact, we don't really have the choice! Don't we?
About many things.

Today, in Taiwan, is one of my admired teacher's birthday,
I know he can't see me,
or maybe he doesn't want to hear from me or care about me anymore,
I still want to say happy birthday to him.
I will be thankful to him forever with all my respects.

Jui-Ling
7/14/06

A Beginning ----------

the first time I use the blog ,
I can't write in Chinese, only can read,
so,
I will appriciate your patience with my poor English,
Have a nice day, to all of you guys.

Jui-Ling
7/13/06